no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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