Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
