I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i've created a new STD.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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