OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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