i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
