IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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