i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize