hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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