You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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