There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
