Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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