i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I look better un-naked...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
