Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
