Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
