if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
