Whats the glycemic index on semen?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i think im in europe. pls send help
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
