I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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