i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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