I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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