I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
