i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
