Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
