is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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