My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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