no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
