and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
