sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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