im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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