Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
