i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
