so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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