So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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