I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
