Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
