I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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