I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Be still, my beating vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
