how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
