Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
