i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
