I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
