She said her name was "party"
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
