dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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