oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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