My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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