He kissed a someone with a penis
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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