His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just got carded by a ten year old.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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