bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize