I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
