C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
