My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
