i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
