Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
