Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
