You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You made out with two different species that night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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