come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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