Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
