they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize