remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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