Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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