I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
