He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
