I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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