I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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