Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
