She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
