The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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