I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
