did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I won the penis lottery.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
