Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
