i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
