Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
